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It's once again time to review the winners of the
annual Stella awards.
The Stella's are named after 81 year old Stella
Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully
sued McDonalds . That case inspired the Stella Awards
for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the
United States.

Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating
McDonalds, the teens who allege that eating at
McDonalds has made them fat, was filed after the 2002
award voting was closed. This suit will top the 2003
awards list without question.


5th Place (Tied)

Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded
$780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her
ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a
furniture store.
The owners of the store were understandably surprised
at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler
was Ms Robertson's Son.

5th place (Tied).

19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 andmedical
expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.
Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone
at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

5th place (Tied).

Terrence Dickson of Bristol Pennsylvania was leaving a
house he had just finished robbing by way of the
garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go
up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning.
He could not reenter the house because the door
connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut.
The family were on
vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the
garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he
found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the
houseowner's insurance claiming the situation caused
him undue mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune
of $500,000.

4th place.

Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded
$14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on
the buttocks by his next door neighbor's Beagle dog.
The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard.
The award was less than sought because the jury felt
the dog might have been a little provoked at the time
as Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into
the yard was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd place.

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber
Carson of Lancaster Pennsylvania $113,500 after she
slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone).
The beverage was on the floor because Ms.
Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds
earlier during an argument.

2nd place.

Kara Walton of Claymont Delaware sued the owner of a
Night Club in a neighboring city when she fell from
the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two
of her front teeth.
This occurred whilst Ms. Walton
was trying to crawl through the window in the Ladies
Room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge.
She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
1st Place.

This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor Home.
On his trip home from an OU football game, having
driven onto the Freeway, he set the cruise control at
70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into
the back and make himself a cup of coffee.
Not surprisingly the RV left the Freeway, crashed and
Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not
advising him that in the owner's manual that he could
not actually do this.
The jury awarded him $1,750,000
plus a new Winnebago Motor Home.
The company actually changed their manuals on the
basis of this suit just in case there were any other
complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.
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