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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
my 16 yr old daughter gave me these... sorry, it's a bit of a mess, but it's funny!

What’s the best form of birth control
after the age of 50?
>>>>> Nudity.

>>>>> What do attorneys use for birth control?
>>>>> Their personalities.

>>>>> What’s the difference between a
> girlfriend and a wife?
>>>>> 45 lbs.

>>>>> What’s the difference between a boyfriend
> and a
>>>>> husband?
>>>>> 45minutes.

>>>>> How many women does it take to change a
> light bulb?
>>>>> None, they just sit there in the dark and
> bitch.

>>>>> What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?
>>>>> Through his chest with a sharp knife.

>>>>> Why are men and parking spaces alike?
>>>>> Because all the good ones are taken and
> the only ones left are
> >> > > disabled.

>>>>> Why do men want to marry virgins?
>>>>> They can’t stand criticism.

>>>>> Why is it so hard for women to find men
> that are
> >sensitive,caring,
> >>> > and good
>>>>> looking?
>>>>> Because those men already have
> boyfriends.

>>>>> What’s the difference between a new
> husband and a new dog?
>>>>> After a year, the dog is still excited to
> see you.

>>>>> What makes men chase women they have no
> intention of marrying?
>>>>> The same urge that makes dogs chase cars
> they have no intention
> >of
> >>> > driving.

>> >>> What do you call a smart blonde?
>>>>> A golden retriever.

>>>>> Why does the bride always wear white?
>>>>> Because it’s good for the dishwasher to
> match the stove and
> > > > refrigerator.

>>>>> A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are
> all in third grade. Who has
>>>> > the
>>>>> biggest boobs?
>>>>> The blonde, because she’s 18.

>>>>> Which sexual position produces the
> ugliest children?
>>>>> Ask your Mom.

>>>>> What is the quickest way to clear out a
> men’s restroom?
>>>>> Say, “Nice Dick.”

>>>>> Why don’t bunnies make noise when they
> have sex?
>>>>> Because they have cotton balls.

>>>>> What’s the difference between a porcupine
> and a BMW?
>>>>> A porcupine has the pricks on the
> outside.

> > >>> What did the blonde say when she found
> out she was pregnant?
>>>>> “Are you sure it’s mine?”

>>>>> What’s the difference between B~eer Nuts
> and Deer Nuts?
>>‘>> Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are
> always under a buck.

>>>>> Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
>>>>> Mace will do that to you.

>>> Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West
> Virginia?
>>>>> Everyone has the same DNA.

>>>>> What would you call it when an Italian
> has one arm shorter than
> >the
> > > > other?
>>>>> A speech impediment.

>>>>> Why do men find it difficult to make eye
> contact?
>>>>> Breasts don’t have eyes..


>>>> Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
> >>>> He walks around saying “Yo.”

>~>>> Why do drivers education classes in
> ******* schools use the car
> >only
>> > > > on

> >>> Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?
>>>>> Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex
> Ed class uses it.

>>>>> What’s the difference between a Southern
> zoo, and a Northern zoo?
>>>>> A Southern zoo has a description of the
> animal on the front the
> >cage,
>>>> > along
>>>> with a recipe.

> >>>> What’s the Cuban National Anthem?
>>>>> Row row row your boat.

> >>> What’s the difference between a Northern
> fairytale and a Southern fairytale?
> >>>> A Northern fairytale begins “Once upon a
> time.” A Southern
> >fairytale
>> > > > begins
>>>>> “‘Y’all ain’t gonna believe this shit.”
 
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