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>>
>>A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot
>>sitting on a little perch.
>>It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud,
>>"Jeesh, I wonder what
>>happened to this Parrot?"
>>
>>The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective
>>parrot."
>>
>>"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood
>>and answered me!"
>>
>>"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a
>>highly intelligent
>>thoroughly educated bird."
>>
>>"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do
>>you hang onto your
>>perch without any feet?"
>>
>>"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing
>>but since you asked, I
>>wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little
>>hook. You can't see it
>>because of my feathers."
>>
>>"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and
>>speak English can't
>>you?"
>>
>>"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can
>>converse with
>>reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics,
>>religion, sports,
>>physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at
>>ornithology. You really ought
>>to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
>>
>>The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I
>>just can't afford that."
>>
>>"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the
>>truth is, nobody wants
>>me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get
>>me for $20, just make
>>the guy an offer!"
>>
>>The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
>>Weeks go by. The parrot
>>is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's
>>interesting, he's a
>>great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes,
>>and he's insightful.
>>The guy is delighted.
>>
>>One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot
>>goes, "psssssssssssst,"
>>and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I
>>should tell you this
>>or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
>>
>>"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
>>
>>"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife
>>greeted him at the
>>door in a sheer black nightie and kissed him
>>passionately."
>>
>>"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what
>>happened?"
>>
>>"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted
>>up her nightie and
>>began petting her all over," reported the parrot.
>>
>>"Oh No!," he exclaims. "Then what?"
>>
>>"Then he lifted up the nightie, got down on his knees
>>and began to kiss her
>>all over, starting with her breasts and slowly going
>>down...."
>>
>>"WELL," demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
>>
>>
>>"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my
>>perch!"
>
 
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