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Theoretician
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235 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My legions of terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

When the rebel leader challenges me to fight one-on-one and asks, "Or are you afraid without your armies to back you up?" My reply will be, "No, just sensible."

When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him.

After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

I will not order my trusted lieutenant to kill the infant who is destined to overthrow me -- I'll do it myself.

I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

I will not waste time making my enemy's death look like an accident -- I'm not accountable to anyone and my other enemies wouldn't believe it anyway.

I will make it clear that I do know the meaning of the word "mercy"; I simply choose not show them any.

One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff.

The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

My undercover agents will not have tattoos identifying them as members of my organization, nor will they be required to wear military boots or adhere to any other dress codes.

The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.

I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
 

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What would Skeeter do?
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4,202 Posts
AF MAN said:
:r Dude! You been doin blotter acid again?
Would this be the acid with the little "Keep on truckin!" guy on it? I have heard of it, but never seen it. Have also never seen windowpane, microdot, barrels, double or 4/way barrels, flats, cubes. Nor have I ever seen acid with a little owl stamped on it.
 

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What would Skeeter do?
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4,202 Posts
Who needs acid? Just stare at the page for awhile.

BTW, Elk. Enjoyed your very amusing post. Sorry about the threadjack.
 

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Registered
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132 Posts
all good points. my plan to Take Over the World was foiled by some do-gooders because i had wide ventilation ducts in my fortress and opaque faceplates on my henchmen...
 

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MoTheMentor
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3,075 Posts
Dude! You ARE evil. :mad:
 

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1,377 Posts
Weird, very weird :z
 

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Registered
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202 Posts
and of course....a miiiiillllion..er....biiiiiiilllllion dollars! :r
 

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Registered
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670 Posts
If you happen? IF you HAPPEN???

Forget it dude, with that no-can-do attitude, you ain't gettin' nowhere.

Here's the chalk - now go to the board and write 1000 times:

"WHEN I become an evil overlord..."
 
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