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:r
these are for those times when your roundhouse kicking drung dealers in alleyways and your pants always seem to rip at the seams from lack of reinforcement

now you too, icehog, can kick like chuck norris
 

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A blind man once bumped into Chuck Norris. Chuck said "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" Just the mention of his name cured the man's blindness. Unfortunately, the first, and last thing he ever saw was a deadly roundhouse kick delivered by Chuck Norris.

:r
 

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Funny quick story, ok not so much funny, but....

When I work in an office about 10 years ago, I shared a cubicle with another designer. He also was a black belt teacher of Karate, maybe Tae Kwon Do, anyways. The phone rings, thinking nothing of it, I answer, and the other end asks for Ed (my cube buddy). Out of habit, I ask who is calling, he says Chuck Norris. This is when it clicks. After they have their chat, I ask, he confirms, and shows me a number of pics he has of himself with Chuck.

My brief brush with a famous person, and I didn't even realize it.

Sorry a bit off topic, but none the less.
 

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Boy, if he could only act..........he'd be unstoppable!
 

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A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
 

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etenpenny said:


now you too, icehog, can kick like chuck norris
Anytime anyone asks Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers with "two seconds 'til...". When the person asks "Two seconds 'til what?", exactly two seconds later Chuck roundhouse kicks them in the face.
 

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Don't laugh! I owned a pair of those way back in the 1980's, when I was in Shotokan Karate!!! I bought them out of the back of a magazine (well, my parents did, anyway!). I wasn't alone, either; half of the guys in my class bought 'em. If anyone here plays paintball, the crotch is a stretch fabric similiar to the crotch on a pair of JT Paintball Khakis. They were really quite comfortable, even if the stitching was a bit...err....gayish (not that there's anything wrong with that!).
 

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I wondered how he fought so well in "Good Guys Wear Black" in those plum smugglers.

I call mine Mr. Bo... because Mr. Bo Dangles.

etenpenny said:


:r
these are for those times when your roundhouse kicking drung dealers in alleyways and your pants always seem to rip at the seams from lack of reinforcement

now you too, icehog, can kick like chuck norris
 

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There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... 17 are poisonous.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
 

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KingMeatyHand said:
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... 17 are poisonous.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
You made me laugh so hard my jaw literally feels as though it has been roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris. :r
 
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