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Subject: Why God Created Children


> To those who have children, whether they are our own, grandchildren,
nieces,
> nephews, or students..here is something to make you chuckle.
>
> Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the
> thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
>
> After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first
> thing he said was "DON'T!"
>
> "Don't what?" Adam replied.
> "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
> "Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve...we have Forbidden
> fruit!!!!!"
>
> "No Way!"
>
> "Yes way!"
>
> "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
>
> "Why"
>
> "Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He
> hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later,
God saw
> His children having an apple break and He was ticked!
>
> "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
>
> "Uh huh," Adam replied.
>
> "Then why did you?" said the Father.
>
> "I don't know," said Eve.
>
> "She started it!" Adam said
>
> "Did not!"
>
> "Did too!"
>
> "DID NOT!"
>
> Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
> should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has
never
> changed.
>
> BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
> If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and
they
> haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself If God had trouble raising
> children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
>
> THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
> 1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and
> talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut
up.
>
> 2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
>
> 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
>
> 4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for
word
> what you shouldn't have said.
>
> 5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself
that
> there are children more awful than your own.
>
> 6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
>
> ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing
home.
>
>
> AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT
IT
> SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM
CHILDREN
 

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"God puts an apple tree in the middle of the Garden of Eden and says, do what you like guys, oh, but don't eat the apple. Surprise surprise, they eat it and he leaps out from behind a bush shouting "Gotcha." It wouldn't have made any difference if they hadn't eaten it... because if you're dealing with somebody who has the sort of mentality which likes leaving hats on the pavement with bricks under them you know perfectly well they won't give up. They'll get you in the end." - Douglas Adams
 
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