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The 2003 Darwin Award Winners:

> When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
> during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James
> Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down
> the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.....
> And now, the honorable mentions:

> The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
> machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
> insurance company.The company, suspecting negligence, sent out
> one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and
> lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

> *^*^*^*
> A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
> during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
> had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
> *^*^*^*
> After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
> found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
> from Harare to beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
> incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered
> everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers
> to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
> excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't
> discovered for 3 days.
> *^*^*^*
> An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
> head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how
> he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying
> to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he
> was hit.
> *^*^*^*
> A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter,
> and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the
> man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
> the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk
> and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash
> he got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and
> gives you money, is a crime committed?) Hurricane Grad?
> *^*^*^*
> A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and
> carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE,
> MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A ****-UP!" For a moment, everyone
> was silent.Then the snickers started. The security guard completely
> lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because
> he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired
> before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In
> memory of the event, the banker later put a plaque on the wall engraved
> with the words, "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a ****-up!"
> *^*^*^*
> Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
> that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab
> some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over
> his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the
> would be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor
> store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught
on videotape.
> *^*^*^*
As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and
the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.

Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him
in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out
of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he
> "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from.."

> *^*^*^*
> The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
> into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun,
> and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said
> he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the
> man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
> breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
> *^*^*^*
> A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER! When a man attempted to
siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he
got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to
find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled

A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal
gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by

> The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it
> was the best laugh he'd ever had.:r
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