A guy walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the Counter and sees
That it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be
more than $10,000 in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?"
"Well, you pay $10 and if you pass three tests...
a guy walks into a bar and see's a sign that reads...cheese sandwich $2, hand job $10
the guy grabs the waitress and says "excuse me miss, are you the lady that gives the hand-jobs?"
she replies "yes i am"
he replies "well wash those hands and make me a cheese sandwich!"
A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a martini to the amazement of the bartender.
When the bartender gives the gorilla the martini, he’s further surprised to see that the ape is holding a $20 bill.
The bartender takes the $20, then he decides to see just how smart the gorilla is, so he...
A guy walks into a bar and says "Give me ten shots of your best Scotch!"
The bartender lines them up on the bar and the guy begins tossing them back as fast as he can drink them.
The bartender says to the guy "My God I've never seen anybody drink like that!"
The guy says, "You'd drink like...
And sits right next to me, orders a double tequila, looks at me and says.
"I'll F%*@ anyone, anywhere, one man, two men, three women, a whole company, on this bar, in the back, on the freeway, dark alley, ritzy hotel, politicians, businessmen...."
I said, "Hello, I'm a lawyer as well, what...
It will be interesting to see what happens on Monday. I wonder if Artie will be back? He is great on the show, but has a lot of issues he needs to deal with. I do not know if Howard will put up with him any more.
I wonder if he does not come back if we can see Jackie Martling back for a...
Elomomac went all terrorist and actually walked into my store, came back to my office and set the bomb off!!!! The insurance adjusters are still assessing the damage. (They also tried to steal some of the damage).
I am smoking the CAO Escaparate Serie - Columbia unreleased as...
...... and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.
The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few
questions. "He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and
then asks, "What's your occupation?"
"I'm a Lady of the night," she says.
The accountant is somewhat...
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would...
A guy walks into a bar and sees a gorgeous woman nursing a drink.
Walking up behind her he says, "Hi there, good lookin'. How's it going?"
Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says, "Listen up, buddy, I screw anybody, any time...
Well, the ol' saying, "Money talks, bulls**t walks" certainly seems true. I was shocked! You mean there are different rules for the rich and the rest of us? You could have knocked me over with a feather.
Phil (Specter). Things are looking up, buddy.
....and orders rum and the bartender says, "Sure, I'll give you some rum if you tell me why you have that ship's wheel stuck down the fron t of your pants." The pirate says "Arghh, it's driving me nuts."
Sorry, heard that one from a kid today.
A pirate walks into a bar and it appears that he has a steering wheel to a ship in front of his trousers. In fact, it looks like he's got his Wang stuck through the center of it.
The bartender says, "Hey pirate! You've got your Wang stuck in a steering wheel!"
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know...
A pirate walks into a bar and it appears that he has a steering wheel to a ship in front of his trousers. In fact, it looks like he's got his dick stuck through the center of it.
The bartender says, "Hey pirate! You've got your dick stuck in a steering wheel!"
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know...
A man walks into a bar and asks, "Bartender, quick pour me 12 drinks..."
The bartender snaps into action and pours the man his shots, curious as to why the man wanted twelve drinks he asks, "Why are you drinking so fast?" The man responds, "If you had what I had you to would be drinking this...
A man walks into a bar and orders ten shots of whiskey seven beers and twelve shots of tequilla . The bartender returns with the mans order and the man drinks them all, one after another til there is no more. The bartender asks him " why did you drink all that so fast?" the man replies, " If...