Search Results for ‘blonde’

A blind man enters a Ladies bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender: "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says...

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?' The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very...

A young blonde woman in Newport , Kentucky was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the Ohio River . She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the dock, crying. He took...

The jokes forum needs more action, and this one you can send you your wife: A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the...

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. “What does it look like?”...

This has marginally renewed my confidence in the American civial justice system. Kudos to this judge. 16 hours ago BRIDGEPORT, Conn. (AP) — A Connecticut judge has given the brush-off to a blonde woman's lawsuit claiming L'Oreal Inc. ruined her social life when she accidentally dyed her...

A strawberry blond was weed-eating her yard and accidentally cut off the tail of her cat which was hiding in the grass. She rushed her cat, along with the tail over To WAL-MART! Why WAL-MART?? HELLOOOOOOOOO! WALMART is the largest re-tailer in the world!!!

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing. The widow...

The other blonde joke reminded me that I had this gem stashed away in an email..hehehehe enjoy A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops...

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. 'What does it look like?'...

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from Alabama arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless.' With that, she stripped to the...

A businessman got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, "T-G-I-F". He smiled at her and replied "S-H-I-T". She looked puzzled, and repeated, "T-G-I-F," more slowly. He answered again, "S-H-I-T". The blonde was trying to keep it...

A Blonde goes over to her friend's house wearing a T.G.I.F. tee-shirt. Her friend asks: 'Why are you wearing a Thank GOD It's Friday tee-shirt on Monday?' 'Oh, crap!' the blonde says. 'I didn't realize it was a religious T-shirt. I thought it meant 'Tits Go In Front.'

Aren't they all? A blond teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a 'handy-woman' and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do...

And sits right next to me, orders a double tequila, looks at me and says. "I'll F%*@ anyone, anywhere, one man, two men, three women, a whole company, on this bar, in the back, on the freeway, dark alley, ritzy hotel, politicians, businessmen...." I said, "Hello, I'm a lawyer as well, what...

There were three women competing in the recent Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim, a brunette, a redhead and a blonde. It was a fierce race with the brunette and the redhead exchanging the lead across the long stretch of water. As they stroked closer and closer to the shores of...

Michael and his wife live in Alaska. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Michael's wife goes out...

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When...

A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog barking. It had been barking for hours. Suddenly the blonde jumps out of bed and says, 'I've had enough of this." And off she goes downstairs. She finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, "The dog's...

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs, and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your...