G&H Ennerdale Flake
Ennerdale is the first G&H flake I smoked. The reviews, ranging from fear and disgust to love and adoration had driven me relentlessly into the Lakeland district. I had to find out for myself.
Let me say that I hated the smell of it. Just awful. Dreadlocks of tobacco matted into sheets, like the scalp of a Jamaican who'd used too much wretchedly perfumed pomade. Not that the tobacco itself was "greasy" or anything, far from it: it folded and stuffed or rubbed out perfectly. While the stench provides the perfect vehicle for nasty verbal waxing, I'll spare you that.
I never thought I'd like it. Not possible. Who could smoke such a thing and still say he was a real pipe smoker? The mere thought that this was G&H's most popular blend "by far" left me totally aghast. The world must be even more densely populated with depraved people than I ever dreamed -- until now. As Leslie Nielsen once said, slimed head to toe in fresh sewage, "IIIIIII L O V E it!"
The way you wouldn't take the floozy you picked up on a drunken bender home to Mom, I'd never let this stuff in the vicinity of one of my Sasieni pipes, but in a cob it's harmless enough. One might need some hazardous waste containers to cellar it, but well worth the trouble.
Ennerdale has the familiar G&H characteristics, those of perfect burning qualities and correspondingly beautiful ash, no bite and copious quantities of smoke. The Hieronymus Bosch of tobacco, its "Garden of Delights" does contain a tobacco plant or two. You can barely smell the flowers because of the woman standing there who uses too much perfume, but if you keep on smoking, the tobacco will mask it and make it tolerable. Indeed, after your senses have been completely overburdened with Lakeland "essence", you start to ignore it completely and -- there it is! Tobacco! It tastes like (who would have ever suspected it) tobacco!
I know, I know. There are some with allergies who would need an immediate ampule of epinephrine to survive the ambulance ride to the emergency room, others who would never suffer such a thing in their pristine smoking parlors, and others still who would lead pogroms against those who dare smoke it, but for those with a sense of adventure, Ennerdale can be a liberating experience.